By Karen Eckberg Gottovi ‘62

Thank you, my Wells community, for making me feel so welcome today as one of the Alumnae Award winners.  It is certainly my pleasure to be here.  I have received many honors over the years – but this one is very special to me because Wells has been an incredible influence in my life.  I want to thank Ellen Ironside, a Wells belle who graduated in the 40’s and was one of my mentors in my public life in North Carolina.  She is a former alumnae award winner, and I think she put me up for this award.  I also thank my classmates and other people that I have worked with through the years who spoke up for me as well.  It is very special to be on the platform with Shirley Bacot.  We served on the Wells Board of Trustees together, in “interesting times…” when Wells went through 5 presidents during my tenure on the board.  Thank heavens we finally landed with Lisa Ryerson! Shirley chaired the board with grace and a firm spine.  Both of us married Hamilton men, by the way.  And isn’t it amazing that we both have been working on aging issues and programs!

Speaking about aging, I want to tell you a little about my mother, Vivian Chall Eckberg.  She passed away May 9th, under the care of Hospice, in a very nice assisted living facility, at the age of 94.  A smoker almost all of her life, her last couple of years and her death were not easy or pleasant.  Smoking brought on osteoporosis and lung disease, and she fought for breath right until the end.  Thank goodness for Hospice.  My husband Dan started a Hospice organization in Wilmington, but it wasn’t until we had a personal experience with its service that I really understood what it could do to ease a difficult death.

When her disease progressed, and Hospice was helping with her comfort, the two of us talked about her life, using one of those “workbooks” for grandparents that you can find in bookstores.  She told me a lot of things, including that she had always wanted to go to college.  I asked her where, and she said Chicago.  I asked if there was a particular school that she had in mind, and she said no, she just thought it would be good to go to Chicago.  I think she chose that location to get as far away from Jamestown, NY as she thought possible.   She didn’t get to go, but she worked hard to make sure that my brother and I went.

She coached me all through school – to be on time, do thorough work, and pay attention.  Her mantra was “First Things First!”  She volunteered in the community – with the PTA, the YWCA, Meals on Wheels, Cerebral Palsy center – all places where she learned about public policy – and we discussed issues at home.  Mother was so pleased to send me off to Wells, and I was thrilled to be here.  I can remember pinching myself about three weeks into the first semester, saying, “I’m really here!”  I loved it.  The work was challenging, but mother had me well prepared to study and learn.  The classes were small, allowing for a lot of discussion and participation.  I had to be prepared, or suffer the consequences.  I liked my roommates, my dorms, the food, and the atmosphere – the lake, the hills, the brand new student union and the fun we had at sing-alongs and in the halls with each other.  I loved being in Henry’s VIII, an experience I probably never would have had at a larger university.   I was a scholarship student, and worked hard so I wouldn’t lose it, but had a good time, too.  

When I think about the course of my life, I realize that I have had a very checkered career.  That’s probably not so unusual, since many women of my generation have been in and out of the workforce because of motherhood, and also because of volunteer work as well.  One thing I have learned from my own experience, though, is that when a door closes, another opens, and one needs to be ready to take advantage of opportunities and make them work for you.  Another thing that I learned long ago from my experiences at Wells is that women can do anything!  And, English majors can as well.  Two of my children were also English majors, – our son Peter who is teaching middle school in the Bronx, and daughter Nancy who is the head of an economic development commission in central North Carolina.  Danny, my other son, was a German major, and is now a security analyst for Network Solutions.  All of us have advanced degrees that led us into careers.  Having an undergraduate degree in Liberal Arts gives you so many choices later.

The third thing that I have realized about my various careers, paying and non-paying, is that I learned a lot about life and how to get along with others from each of them.   I also had wonderful mentors along the way.  My first job was as a high school English teacher in Pittsford, NY.  I taught school and paid my brand new husband Dan’s tuition for medical school at the University of Rochester.  Teaching school is challenging.  Even in the sixties, it was hard work.  I was 21, looked 16, and was full of idealism.  What I learned, after much trial and error, was how to explain things so that others understood.  I also learned how to keep order in 7th period study hall with 150 kids in the cafeteria.  Those two items really came in handy later when I was running public hearings as a county commissioner on zoning matters and trying to site a garbage landfill.

My next job was in the early 70’s at the public library in Wilmington, NC.  I was the part time reference librarian, and learned, in a most practical way, how to look things up.  Knowledge is power, and if you know where to find answers, you have a lot of power.  I also learned that it could be misused.  An unassuming appearing couple came into the library wanting to know how to make black gunpowder.  I dutifully led them to the science encyclopedia, and they copied it out the recipe.  This was during race rioting in Wilmington, and the next week the Synagogue and the black newspaper were bombed.  Fortunately no one was hurt, but the events horrified the community and me, especially.  Since the formula was public knowledge, I really could not have prevented them from getting the information, even if I had known what they were going to do with it.  And I did not know who they were, either.  It still gives me pause that I was the person who pointed them to the right page.  Others figured out what happened, and the couple was arrested and he, at least, served time.  

Later on in my careers as a County Commissioner and Legislator, I used those librarian skills many times to learn about issues with which I had not had much experience.  I also asked questions in public meetings that I knew the answers to – to get the staff (whose knowledge and experience I had learned to trust,) to educate the other members so that I didn’t always appear to be running the agenda my way. Sometimes it works better if you let others think that they have had the brilliant idea themselves!   Another thing I learned as a librarian, and later as a politician, was to listen well.  People typically have a hard time verbalizing what it is exactly that they want.  Finding out where they are coming from simplifies the quest.   And in politics, one really needs to know the real agenda, before agreeing to help someone with what sounds like a good idea.  I got myself into a few unpleasant boxes until I figured that out.  My classmate Patricia Day LaBarbara was the budget officer for the NC State Department of Education, so Wells had two of us with some power during this time.  Pat was a math major at Wells – see what she did with her education?  

I learned a lot of lessons while in elected office, and also serving on boards.  Don’t meddle with staff.  Hire a good administrator, and then make policy, give advice, raise money if needed and get out of the way.  Keep a sense of humor.  A lot of stressful situations can be mitigated by a good laugh.  And, for sure, never keep score.  Your opponent on one issue may well be a supporter on another. 

One of my most important lessons while I was in the legislature was that you can’t please everyone.  You have to vote yea or nay.  Some will be happy, and some won’t like what you did at all.  The Executive Director of NC Citizens for Business and Industry told me that politicians who did very little were their favorites.  They were not very happy with me.  My seat in the House of Representatives was in what they called a swing district, and it was swinging in the conservative direction in the early 90’s.  I realized that I likely had a short time in which to make a difference, no matter how I voted, so decided to make the most of my position and take on some issues that others did not want to touch.  Raising the age to buy cigarettes to 18 in North Carolina seems simple and a no brainer, but it meant taking on the tobacco industry.  Keeping the streams and rivers clean, meant taking on the hog industry.  Increasing access to health care meant taking on the insurance and pharmaceutical industries.  I also tried a “bottle bill,” for recycling that retailers didn’t like, and some public health bills that got the industrial people upset.  You can imagine the sleepless nights and the debates I had on the floor of the House, but some of the bills passed, and I ended up 20th in power in the house before losing the 1994 “blue moon” election and my honorable status overnight.  

In a year or so another door opened, when the Governor asked me to be the director of the Division of Aging for the state.  I had never been a business manager, and the division was in disarray.  I thought it would be just for a little while, but I ended up staying for eight years in what was really my favorite job.  All my lessons came into play, there.  I listened to my staff, and used a lot of their ideas to reorganize the agency.  I made sure that the public good and the public needs were our first priority, not our own agendas.  We had a small staff and a relatively small budget, so I used my networks to link us with other people’s expertise and money, and helped the legislature understand the demographics of aging in our state, and the desire of almost everyone to age in their own homes and communities with services that help them and their families manage aging and chronic illness.  Our budget doubled, and we were able to get that money into home and community services in every corner of the state.  By the end of my tenure there, we had absorbed adult services from the Division of Social Services, and were able to coordinate programs for the disabled with aging services and save everyone time, money and some sanity as well.

 Now that Dan and I are retired, we are volunteering.  Dan is working on a Medicaid quality initiative with state government, and he is on the NC Health and Wellness Trust board, spending our tobacco settlement money on tobacco elimination programs, obesity, asthma, and prescription drug assistance for seniors. I am a volunteer lobbyist with AARP.  I show up frequently in the halls of the legislature as an advocate for aging issues and programs at the state level.  As you know, AARP has a huge national presence.  It is incredibly effective.  It has no PAC, gives no money to any legislator, and endorses no one for public office.   AARP lobbies on issues that affect Americans of all ages, because seniors do not exist in a vacuum, but in families.  Right now, AARP’s biggest effort is on health care access for all, and we are coincidentally working on the issues I tried to fix in my health care bill in 1993.  I wonder if we will ever really have a coherent national health program in this country, but I will keep working on that issue anyway.

My last lesson is one that you all have probably thought about.  We need to realize that many of us are going to live much longer than we ever thought we would.  As a country, we are not very well prepared for this demographic reality.  Baby Boomers typically have twice as many parents living as they have children.  One in four persons right now is caring in some way either for an aging parent, spouse or a disabled child.  Sometimes, all three. I  looked after my mother since 1988 in one way or another, and she lived with us for two years.  Institutional care is very expensive, and Medicare does not pay for it.  Those who are very poor and qualify for Medicaid do have funds for nursing home care, but many of the facilities are not very good or even very kind because the reimbursement is not adequate to provide quality care.  If you are not fabulously wealthy, I suggest you take a good look at long-term care insurance.  It can help with in home expenses as well as nursing home or assisted living.  Most of us who are in good health at 65 can expect to live on into our eighties relatively healthy and having a good quality of life. But then, the wheels start falling off, and life can become a constant worry over health issues, safety issues, and quality of life issues.  So that our children will not have to worry about us as we age, Dan and I have gotten the paperwork to sign up for a Continuing Care Residential Community (that has an 8-10 year waiting list.)  In the meantime, we plan to summer at Chautauqua, and winter in Raleigh, and keep learning and serving as long as we can.

Thank you for listening to my rendering of lessons learned.  Have a wonderful reunion weekend!

Delivered June 2, 2007 at Wells College.